Its 8:15 pm. I am so craving food that is cooked. Its driving me literally insane. The things that are holding me back are the following:
1) I made a commitment to do this and want to keep it.
2) I try to imagine myself after I eat the cooked and I see the same amount of anguish as I am feeling now except it is fortified with guilt, disappointment, hopelessness, and anger. Plus physical discomfort but that is probably less than what I am feeling physically right now.
3) I am reading what the foods I crave do to my body and I don’t want it. I’ve been mistreating myself for 35 years and I need to know I can end it.
4) I have a tinge of hope that this will pass, and I will feel energetic, healthy, and positive.
5) I have hope that this will go away eventually and I will be a peace with all this struggle.
I am feeling so tired. I feel just lazy and depressed, but at the same time anxious. I went to whole foods today, and as tempted as I was to get the foods that I wanted, I didn’t. I almost felt anxiety as I left the store without getting the cooked foods I wanted. I so want to just get through this. I hope there is light tomorrow in the morning when I wake up.
My weight today is: 125.2
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